Hey there! I know it has been a while since I have posted, and I'm sorry for that, but I'm back now! Has anyone ever played the game "Never Have I Ever"? I'll give you a summation of it just in case you haven't: basically people say "Never have I ever..." and fill in with something they have never done, like for instance, I might say "Never have I ever owned a cat," because, well, I have never owned a cat. Simple, right? So I'm going to play that game with you guys right now.
Never have I ever been to a Taylor Swift concert.
Never have I ever cried at a Taylor Swift concert.
Never have I ever screamed my lungs out at a Taylor Swift concert.
Never have I ever sang my heart out at a Taylor Swift concert.
Never have I ever danced so much I got dizzy at a Taylor Swift concert.
Whoops! I played the game wrong, which was kind of silly of me since I just explained it to you... As of last night, I have done all of those things!!!!!!! :D Here's a correct "Never have I ever" statement:
Never have I ever been to a better concert than Taylor Swift's 1989 world tour.
I have been dreaming about going to a Taylor Swift concert since I first sat at the computer in my house and watched a video of her performing "Should've Said No." That moment was about eight years ago, and since then I have added to the dream. I met my boyfriend four years ago, when we were freshmen in high school, and the second I learned he loved Taylor Swift as much as I did, we were fast friends. Well, one thing led to another, and it became our dream to go to one of her concerts together, and last night we finally did it!!! We went to a Taylor Swift concert!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I've only heard good things about her concerts, so I had high expectations for the night, and those expectations were exceeded in every single way possible. Her music was on point, her outfits were Swifty, the dancers were flawless, and she left her heart on that stage, just like each of her fans danced, cheered, clapped, even dressed their hearts out just to listen to her sing her music, myself included. Those of you who know me fairly well see me as a quiet person, but those of you who truly know me know better than that. I am kind of a crazy person... as the people sitting near me last night found out the second Taylor hit that stage! I was screaming, dancing, singing, fist pumping, shaking my bootay, like crazy for practically the whole concert!!! Not only was the music and atmosphere overwhelmingly amazing, but Taylor made me cry. I never cry about anything besides pain, girly problems, grief, or drama with my headaches. I don't cry during chick flicks, and I haven't cried at a touching sermon since freshman year, but I cried when Taylor had a heart-to-heart with the crowd. She talked about perfection and how striving for it ends up being worse than pushing through imperfection. I have found this out for myself time and time again, but I still want perfection. I like everything to be perfect, from school projects to marching band performances, so it only makes sense that I want my life to be perfect too. For things like school and band, striving for perfection is encouraged and rewarded, but in life, striving for perfection beats you down until you start to wish you had never tried. Most people go to a concert to have fun and let off some steam, then can get back to their daily lives with the memory of the fun pushing them forward. I go to a concert to do the same, have fun, but I also go to enjoy something without holding back because of fear of the pain that will come afterwards. I definitely did not hold myself back last night, and today I am paying for it. My head hurts a lot and there is nothing I can do about it but distract myself until I recover. This is a part of my imperfect life that I have to live with. Luckily, Taylor didn't let me down, so I do not regret going at all. When you have pain every day, you get used to it and learn how it works, so you start delegating your time, energy, and pain (as much as you can control) as you see fit. Most of the time, I save my energy for the important things like school and familial obligations, but every once in a while I get to save my energy for something fun. The concert was my first fun thing I've saved for in a very long time. Luckily, I am surrounded by people who support me in my choices, even though me having some fun might make their lives a little harder. For example, today I have been unable to help with any household chores, so even though my sisters have homework to do, they had to do the work themselves. I appreciate these little things that they do more than they will ever know. I appreciate that my family is as understanding as possible with my condition and that they want me to still be able to have fun as well as do what is necessary. Every single person at the concert was given a bracelet to wear, and when the concert started, they lit up with the music, colored according to the mood of the song!!!! Taylor told us that she gave us these bracelets because she wanted to see us in the crowd as 50,000 individuals, not a black abyss with a few signs and lights. Okay side note: 50,000 people!!!! That is a LOT of people!! That's more people than the population of most Midwest towns! Getting back on track here now, Taylor talking about each of us being an individual really opened my eyes once again to the reality that I am not the only person in the world who is going through something difficult. The fact that it is so easy for me to feel alone in this struggle, even when people I love are right next to me makes me wonder how alone people feel when they don't have someone they love right next to them. Yes, everybody has a burden to bear, but not everybody has people that help them support the weight. Even though I am not with you, I want to be able to help you. If you need advice or just someone to listen, I'm here for you. I can't promise that I am going to be available for you 24/7, but I can say that I will do my best to support you in any way that I can. Somehow, Taylor Swift has helped me through my headaches without knowing who I am. Her music alone can take me from hating every single imperfection to seeing the beauty in the big picture. It numbs the pain, even momentarily, so that I have the strength to look to the ones I love that are there to support me. She may never read this, but I would just like to thank her for that. Her music means more to me than I could ever express.
"I don't think that imperfections make us tarnished or damaged, and I actually wrote a song about it. About how walking through rainstorms doesn't make you tarnished or damaged at all. The lessons that you take away from it make it the opposite. I think that going through a lot and coming out the other side of it, can make you, in fact, clean."
-Taylor Swift
Love always,
Sierra
Showing posts with label taylor swift. Show all posts
Showing posts with label taylor swift. Show all posts
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
The Next Phase
So the reason I decided to share my story is because I am a huge Taylor Swift fan. Perhaps I should explain more… For those of you who don’t know, taylor has a wonderful song titled “Ronan.” In it, she tells the story of Ronan, a boy who at three years old was diagnosed with cancer, and fought courageously. I have loved this song since the first time I heard it for multiple reasons, from the inspirational lyrics to the beautiful melody. The icing on the cake is that it is a perfect example of how Taylor uses her God-given gifts to do good in this crazy world. Taylor sends all the proceeds from Ronan’s song to the charity his mother founded in his name, The Ronan Thompson Foundation.
So now, back to its relevance to this blog. I watched an interview of Maya Thompson, Ronan’s mother, in which she said that writing her blog saved her while she was guiding Ronan through his treatments. As I will eventually share, I am in desperate need of a way to release my pent-up thoughts and feelings. So, I thought I would give blogging a try.
I left off my story when I went to the doctor after two weeks of a headache. Long story short, Dr. A did some tests and treated me to the best of her abilities. When she could not cure me, she referred me to a local neurologist, Dr. B, who told me I had stress headaches. She did not take me seriously, so I did not take her seriously. Needless to say, I only saw her once. This brought up a problem though… What comes next? Do I grin and bear it or look for another doctor? These were some of the questions running through my mind. I will ease your minds and tell you that eventually, I do find a good doctor. I will go into more details tomorrow ;P
As I said yesterday, God turns pain into joy. In a similar way, God turns bad into good. I never plan on going back to see Dr. B again, but I do plan on being a better doctor to my patients than she was to me. My current dream is to become a Pediatric Hematologist/Oncologist. In human words, I want to be a child blood cancer doctor. Although I do not have blood cancer, I have a deep connection with it. My Uncle D was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma just before I was born. After the initial diagnosis, he beat cancer twice. He did not beat it a third time. I only knew Uncle D when he was sick. He was diagnosed, fought, and went into remission twice. The third time Uncle D was diagnosed, he got a stem cell transplant. This went beautifully, and once again he started on the path towards remission. Along the way, he and his wife brought a beautiful baby boy into the world. That boy is a miracle. Doctors told Uncle D that it would be next to impossible for him and his wife to have a child because of the cancer treatments. Uncle D is my mom’s brother, and for years my mom felt that she was helpless in her brother’s fight for life. Then one day, she heard about the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) organization, Team in Training (TNT). TNT trains people to run or walk half and full marathons. Like myself, my mom is not a runner. However, she’s found that she is a walker. Through TNT, my mom has walked four half marathons and raised over $16,000 for LLS. While there isn’t a cure for cancer yet and Uncle D lost his battle, my mom continues raising money for LLS in his name. This past year, she set a total fundraising goal, a sum of all her years of fundraising, at $16,000. This is a significant number because Uncle D battled cancer for 16 years.
Cancer treatments did not save Uncle D’s life, but they did save his heart. Uncle D is in heaven now, but he left his heart behind in his wife and son. He left us with the biggest piece of him, his son.
I love my family and I would do anything to have been able to save my uncle. Hopefully by becoming a Pediatric Hematologist/Oncologist I can help children beat cancer and save families from having to go through a loss like my family’s.
“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35
Love always,
Sierra
P.S. I will not use the real names of other people in this blog for their privacy.
So now, back to its relevance to this blog. I watched an interview of Maya Thompson, Ronan’s mother, in which she said that writing her blog saved her while she was guiding Ronan through his treatments. As I will eventually share, I am in desperate need of a way to release my pent-up thoughts and feelings. So, I thought I would give blogging a try.
I left off my story when I went to the doctor after two weeks of a headache. Long story short, Dr. A did some tests and treated me to the best of her abilities. When she could not cure me, she referred me to a local neurologist, Dr. B, who told me I had stress headaches. She did not take me seriously, so I did not take her seriously. Needless to say, I only saw her once. This brought up a problem though… What comes next? Do I grin and bear it or look for another doctor? These were some of the questions running through my mind. I will ease your minds and tell you that eventually, I do find a good doctor. I will go into more details tomorrow ;P
As I said yesterday, God turns pain into joy. In a similar way, God turns bad into good. I never plan on going back to see Dr. B again, but I do plan on being a better doctor to my patients than she was to me. My current dream is to become a Pediatric Hematologist/Oncologist. In human words, I want to be a child blood cancer doctor. Although I do not have blood cancer, I have a deep connection with it. My Uncle D was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma just before I was born. After the initial diagnosis, he beat cancer twice. He did not beat it a third time. I only knew Uncle D when he was sick. He was diagnosed, fought, and went into remission twice. The third time Uncle D was diagnosed, he got a stem cell transplant. This went beautifully, and once again he started on the path towards remission. Along the way, he and his wife brought a beautiful baby boy into the world. That boy is a miracle. Doctors told Uncle D that it would be next to impossible for him and his wife to have a child because of the cancer treatments. Uncle D is my mom’s brother, and for years my mom felt that she was helpless in her brother’s fight for life. Then one day, she heard about the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) organization, Team in Training (TNT). TNT trains people to run or walk half and full marathons. Like myself, my mom is not a runner. However, she’s found that she is a walker. Through TNT, my mom has walked four half marathons and raised over $16,000 for LLS. While there isn’t a cure for cancer yet and Uncle D lost his battle, my mom continues raising money for LLS in his name. This past year, she set a total fundraising goal, a sum of all her years of fundraising, at $16,000. This is a significant number because Uncle D battled cancer for 16 years.
Cancer treatments did not save Uncle D’s life, but they did save his heart. Uncle D is in heaven now, but he left his heart behind in his wife and son. He left us with the biggest piece of him, his son.
I love my family and I would do anything to have been able to save my uncle. Hopefully by becoming a Pediatric Hematologist/Oncologist I can help children beat cancer and save families from having to go through a loss like my family’s.
“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35
Love always,
Sierra
P.S. I will not use the real names of other people in this blog for their privacy.
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