Day Four

Okay so I am in the hospital right now but I am having so much fun learning!! Yesterday afternoon, I got to talk to a medical student currently enrolled in her third year at UCSF, and I really got the inside scoop on medical school. I was afraid that med school was going to suck and be all work and no play, but the "all work" part only lasts for the first two years. After that bookwork is done comes the play! In this case, shadowing doctors and doing hands on work with patients as well as researching the field you are interested in. Also, tomorrow I get to learn how to test the cranial nerves, because she is going to come teach me! So all in all, after talking with her, I am not as scared of medical school. Today I also got to talk to a resident here at the hospital to see another point of view on the whole process of becoming a doctor. So I know that to become a doctor, you need 4 years of undergrad, 4 years of medical school, and up to 5 years of residency and possibly fellowship. Until recently, I did not know what each phase of the process looked like. Today I learned that not only do you get to do hands on learning for the past two years of med school, but for your residency, you are an MD. You do not have the authority of a fully certified MD, but you still get to see patients and act like a fully certified doctor. During your residency, you see patients and treat them how you see fit, with the approval of the doctor above you. So basically, you're a doctor without the fancy shmancy certificate saying you're certified. This came as a huge relief. Also, it is completely possible and realistic to need a break between undergrad and med school, so even if I do not come out of undergrad raring to go to med school, I can still become a doctor.
I also learned about the PA, Physician's Assistant, and its increasing prestige in the world of medicine. As a patient, the common view is to see a PA as a lesser version of a doctor because they don't have the "MD" and went through less schooling. Now with the inside scoop from a resident MD, I know that a PA is in no way lesser than a doctor. The difference is that a PA only has two years of post undergrad education, and PA's do not specialize in any way, so they could work in different departments, like Pediatric Neurology, then Oncology, then back to Pediatrics, and so on, or they could continue in one area in particular. PA's technically still have to work beneath a doctor, but they function in the clinic, hospital, home, etc. in the same manner as a doctor.
Now to how my day went today! Well, it was a hospital day made as wonderful as possible because of my amazing support system. My best friend and her mom, who is my mom's best friend, came and spent the day with my mom and I. My friend and I colored, talked, and watched Netflix, as well as playing the weekly hospital round of BINGO, and my mom got to get out of the hospital for a little bit. It is almost harder for moms to be in the hospital, because they have to watch their babies go through things babies should not have to go through. I say "babies" because in a mom's eyes, we never grow up. We are always their babies. Which, I guess is fine, embarrassing, but at the same time comforting. It has been wonderful having my mom with me here in the hospital because moms always make you feel better. Granted, I have felt a lot better yesterday and today rather than Tuesday, but I have still had my tight spots. My head has been up and down and my nausea level is increasing a little bit, but all is being handled as best as is possible. I am exhausted yet again tonight, and very much ready to go home... but only two more days. Well, one and a half... but two more days until I get home, considering it takes almost three hours to get home. Moving on now...
Sorry again if this information bores you, so I do not mind one bit if you just skimmed through my first two paragraphs, but here comes the fun part. We have free will. Yes, God has a plan for us and He knows which paths we are going to choose, but we do not choose those paths because He planned for us to do so. He knows the past, current, and future plans that we choose because He sees our hearts. He knows the obstacles that will come at us as well as the things that will help us, and He knows how we will react based on our character. So, yes, God has planned out what your life will look like. But that is not because He chose for you. That is what free will is. It is what gives us the ability to choose between a doctor and a PA for our future jobs, the choice to go to the hospital or not, the choice to go to parties and have fun or stay home and study, and He does not judge us either way. This is another thing that is comforting to me, because it proves God's love for us. If it hadn't already been proven to you by Jesus' death and resurrection, the Bible, miracles, etc., then God's love can be proven in our right to free will. God willingly gives us our will. We never have to fight him, because He backs us up no matter what choice we make. This is because his love is everlasting and unconditional. It is unfathomable to our human minds just how deep his love is. Don't try to understand it or make it logical, because that isn't the point. I am a total science geek, so like aliens, sure they can exist, but I won't believe that they do until I see lots of hard evidence, but that is just not how God works. A relationship with God is built entirely on faith. Faith is believing in something when all the evidence points against it. It is a gut instinct that some people try to bury because it is illogical. I don't know about you, but sometimes I do not trust my gut instinct, so I end up making a different decision, ultimately a wrong one. For some reason, I continue not trusting my gut instinct even though it has proven to be reliable for the most part. I do the same thing with God sometimes, I try to understand it and make it logical, but then I stop myself and remind myself that it wouldn't be faith if I could understand it. Faith is one thing you cannot force upon other people. So, I do not want to force faith in God onto you, but I do ask that you take a moment to understand that faith in God defies all logic and human understanding, and that is what makes it so darn amazing.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Hebrews 11:1
Love always,
Sierra