The Future

Sorry for the ominous title but I couldn't help myself... ;) Most of us spend too much time in our lives thinking about the future instead of enjoying the present, and I am no exception. Part of having a headache every day is learning how to manage and balance everything in your life. I have an endless list of things that I want to do. I have plans for my future- near and far. I want to become a doctor, a fun doctor, that kids enjoy seeing. I don't want kids to enjoy seeing me because it will make me feel good, but because it will make their experience in the hospital a bearable one instead of a traumatic one. I want to be "the doctor who prays with you" in the hospital that I end up working in. I want to enjoy my time at college in every way possible, from my roommate to my campus experience. I want to own horses and 20 dogs, all rescued from the shelter. I want to own cats, even though I am allergic to them, that will live outside in the barn eating the mice that appear. I want to be a wife, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother before I die... I could go on forever. These are all daydreams that I escape to when I'm lying in bed at night, waiting to fall asleep. I'm sure each of you has your own daydreams that you escape to, and they are wonderful, am I right?!! I don't know about all of you, but often times when I am daydreaming, I hear a little voice in the back of my head telling me it's not possible. A part of me is tired of reaching for the stars and falling short. When high school ended, I saw brighter days in my near future. So far, I have not had many bright days. The majority of my summer has been spent lying around with an ice pack on my head. Some of you know exactly what that feels like, the feeling of helplessness as you hope and hope for better days that seem to never come. You don't have to have headaches to feel that way. People feel helpless because of multiple reasons: a job they hate but need, an abusive relationship, the loss of a loved one, a disability... Feeling trapped is one of the worst feelings in the world, and sometimes, it cannot be helped. In those situations, we look for someone to blame, even if one cannot be found. We spend time and energy fighting tooth and nail when we should be surrendering. Surrender is seen as failure because of all the war our world has seen. In war, surrender is the last option, even though it could save lives. In war, surrendering IS failing. In life, surrendering is winning, if you do it correctly. I am in no way telling you to surrender to your hardship. Keep on fighting with all of your heart. All that I suggest is fighting with the strongest ally by your side. When you surrender, you reveal your weaknesses. When you surrender to God, He compliments your weaknesses. Where you are weak, He is strong. He will fight with you, for you. When you stumble and fall, He has your back. It is easy to forget just how powerful God is. I know I forget, and even doubt it, but God always reminds me of His power. Right now, I am reminding you. God is your ally, one whose strength is never failing, who will never betray you and always love you, who will protect you and guide you. He is there.
"If you listen carefully to what he says and do all that I say, I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you."
Exodus 23:22
Love always,
Sierra