Trying To Fix It

After the whole ordeal with the lumbar puncture, we found that the pressure of the fluid in my spinal column was slightly higher than average. The next step was then to treat me with medicines that lower the pressure. We didn't realize until months later that my headaches weren't because of the pressure in my spine. After 4 months of no improvement, I started to feel hopeless. My doctor could tell that I was straining to keep going through the pain every day, so she suggested that I see not only a counselor, but also a psychiatrist. I have tried many counselors since then, and I have finally found the perfect one. The psychiatrist is also wonderful. I thought that the first time I saw her she would just say oh you're depressed let's give you some medicine for it. But she didn't. She listened to my history and got a feel for who I am, and when I was finished, she understood me. I have had moments where I've been depressed, but then again who doesn't?! It's a natural thing. But I am not nor have ever been depressed. Which I am very thankful for. Depression ruins people... I've seen it happen to family and friends. While I am not depressed, I do have anxiety fairly often. Which I think is totally understandable for the situation I'm in. Anxiety can occur in anybody for any reason, and for some it's worse than others. I am glad we caught my anxiety early so I am now taking medicine that stabilizes my mood. I've noticed from school and other stressful activities that when my mood fluctuates, my pain fluctuates with it. It takes time to learn and understand how your body reacts to anything life throws at you. But again, just try to be patient. It will get better, it just might take 2 years or even longer. Something good will come from your suffering, even if you don't see how yet. 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4 NIV)

Love always,

Sierra