Through all of my interactions with medications, I have learned a lot about how my body responds to medicine. Typically, doctors give every patient a "grace period," which is different for every person, so when you are first prescribed the medicine, the doctor gives you an average amount of time to wait to see if the medicine helps. For example, once I got a grace period of 2-4 weeks, other times 1-2 months, even up to 4 or 5 months. I have since learned that when I am given an average grace period, my body waits until the very last second to use up the power of the medicine. So, for the shot, I was told to wait up to 2 months for it to take its effect, if it was to have any effect that is. The shot did not help my pain at all... even after I waited 2 months. So, we moved on to the next phase.
This next phase is a fairly long one so I will only tell part of it tonight. We went back to UCSF for my follow-up appointment after the shot, planning to "put our foot down" to get some real help fast. (This particular follow-up appointment was in mid-November.) This appointment is where we started planning my first planned hospital stay. That day, we learned about a new treatment, one my old neurologist, Dr. C. didn't even know about. The nice thing about going to a teaching/research hospital or clinic is the amount of different trials there are. Luckily, I was treated with a medicine that had already been researched and proven to work in most subjects. That medicine is called "dihydroergotamine," or DHE for short. I was told that the medicine is given to the patient through a kind of IV line, specifically a PICC line, every 8 hours. This happens every day for five days, and the patient is admitted into the hospital for the whole course of the treatment. The medicine is started off given at a rate of one bag per hour and a half, and the rate is decreased if side effects occur. The possible side effects include stiff, cramped legs (fixed by walking around the hospital), nausea, dizziness, headaches (ironic, right?), muscle pain or weakness... All in all, the side effects seemed worth the risk. After deciding to go through with it, the planning began. Planning the treatment ended up being half the battle... which is one of the reasons why this phase is a long one.
So... hospitals are scary, right?? They are scary in every way possible... there is white everywhere, with bright lights, people in boring uniforms, wearing masks, people dying, being born, treated for cancer, treated for a nosebleed, etc. When I was little, I never once dreamed about my senior year including a hospital visit. Not only would I have to endure a trip to the hospital, but I would have to do it while going to high school. As I have shared already, school was already difficult enough for me, without the added stress of a hospital visit. Throughout my whole experience with migraines, I stop, look up at God, and ask him why He is doing this to me. Why won't he lift my burden off my shoulders? Why won't he take my pain away? Why won't he at least make it a little bit better? Well the truth is, he already is doing all of that, every day. From the first day you accept God into your heart, he shares your burdens. You are not a lone ox pulling a plow. You share the yolk with God. He bears your burdens just as much as you do. Now I don't know how many of you know how a yolk works, but a yolk only works as long as both oxen are moving at the same pace, working together. I am very bad about moving at an even pace with God. I try to move faster, and do it on my own; this then creates an uneven yolk, causing even more pain. Clearly none of us are perfect, and so we will all have moments where we try to rush ahead or fall behind God's pace. When you are struggling in any area of your life, stop for a moment and talk to God. Sometimes, you are just going to struggle with life, and God is right next to you through it. Other times, you put unnecessary struggles and pain into your life because you leave God's side. It is amazing how the second you stop to struggle, if you have left God's side, He tells you. But you need to be proactive enough to stop struggling, and listen for God's voice. When I say "God's voice," I do not mean that literally you will hear a booming voice telling you to slow down. God speaks to us in many different ways... whether through others or through your own feelings, He is speaking to you. So stop and listen to God. He will share your burden.
"For my yolk is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:30
Love always,
Sierra
No comments:
Post a Comment